Rule 1: Life is not fair; get used to it.

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will
expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will not make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high
school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn
both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
He doesn't have tenure.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents
had a different word for burger-flipping; they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you screw up, it's not your parents' fault so don't whine
about your mistakes. Learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as "boring" as they
are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning your room, and
listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. So before you save
the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents'
generation, try delousing the closet in your own room first.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life
has not. In some schools failing grades have been abolished, you may
have as many attempts as you want to get the right answer. This, of
course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off,
and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do
that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is not real life. In real life people actually have
to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.